Amy in the Garden

I was warned not to plant them. Good jokes, bad jokes, yarns, urban legends, all warned against it. I planted them anyway. When I announced my intention to plant summer squash and zucchini, the response was, “Oh. I thought you liked me.”

Apparently, not everyone likes zucchini — or more to the point, not everyone likes zucchini after the first serving at dinner or after the first loaf of zucchini bread. Zucchini doesn’t have much staying power with friends, families, or neighbors.

To paraphrase Garrison Keillor, “July is the only month that Lutherans lock their cars when they go to church. They know that if they don’t, they’ll find a bag of zucchini left on the front seat.”

You can’t give this stuff away, it seems.

Still, I really love summer squash and zucchini, and so I planted some for myself this year. I reasoned: If the plants really do run wild and produce mountains of fruit, I’ll bring them by the basketful into my office. I successfully shared baskets of cucumbers, tomatoes, and jalapeno peppers last year. So why not squash? Surely my plants will not sate my 50 co-workers.

And so far, so good. My first planting of six each — zephyr summer squash and bush baby zucchini — have yielded manageable numbers. Of course, I have eaten them almost every night. And I’ve gifted my neighbors on each side several times. And I just bagged an offering for my husband’s art colleagues….Maybe I AM in trouble. Because, when the first plants were only a few inches high, I planted an additional 7 plants of each variety. I may have unleashed a horror upon the world that only a nuclear bomb can destroy (that’s how Godzilla was finally dispatched, yes?): “Nuke the Zukes! Rated CG: Clueless Gardener”

Before I am buried alive, I wanted to share photos and lore about these prolific plants. Here is a photo of the variety of summer squash I chose for this year:

Ready for harvest!

You will see from the Photo of the Day that this variety boasts a green tip at the base. I was also intrigued by the name “zephyr.” I went to Merriam-Webster.com (see “Words from Others”) and learned that this cheerful squash was named for a westerly breeze. I am not sure how that fits this vigorous, sunny grower. I suspect that in a few weeks, “breezy” will be the last adjective I’d apply to this plant. Maybe “typhoon”?

So I went back to the source: Johnny’s Selected Seeds, from whom I purchased this plant. What did I buy again? I was a bit alarmed at the catalog copy:

“Precocious, yellow, green-tip straightneck.
A distinctive, slender fruit, yellow with faint white stripes and light green blossom ends. Harvest young at 4-6″ for unusually delicious nutty taste and firm texture. Unique appearance for easy recognition. Big, open plant, high yielding. Packet: 30 seeds.

Days to Maturity or Bloom: 54”

Precocious. Really? I always associated that word with an adult’s struggle to remain polite. “Their children are…precocious.” Meaning “bratty.” Once again to Merriam-Webster:

“pre·co·cious
adj \pri-ˈkō-shəs\
Definition of PRECOCIOUS
1
: exceptionally early in development or occurrence
2
: exhibiting mature qualities at an unusually early age
— pre·co·cious·ly adverb
— pre·co·cious·ness noun
— pre·coc·i·ty noun
Origin of PRECOCIOUS
Latin praecoc-, praecox early ripening, precocious, from prae- + coquere to cook — more at cook
First Known Use: 1650″

The one at the bottom of the photo is ready for harvest, and the one with the blossom still attached has another day or two to go.

I also ordered this variety from Johnny’s, and here is how they enticed me to buy my packet of seeds:

“True baby zucchini.
Bush Baby’s fruits are true miniatures and ready to harvest at 4-6”. At this stage they are more attractive and “proportional” than full-size zucchinis used as babies. Fruits are glossy and medium dark green with stripes. Semi-open plants are relatively easy to harvest. Avg. 3,700 seeds/lb. Packet: 30 seeds.

Days to Maturity or Bloom: 49″

Again, so far, so good. The catalog speaks the truth. These zucchini are indeed ready to harvest at 4-6″, and they are beautiful. The stripes are elegant, indeed.

And how could any parent have too much of a “true baby” anything?!

I will let you know. I have 49 days.

WORDS FROM OTHERS

zeph·yr
noun \ˈze-fər\
Definition of ZEPHYR
1
a : a breeze from the west
2
: any of various lightweight fabrics and articles of clothing

Origin of ZEPHYR
Middle English Zephirus, west wind (personified), from Latin Zephyrus, god of the west wind & zephyrus west wind, zephyr, from Greek Zephyros & zephyros
First Known Use: 1611

–Merriam-Webster.com